Thursday, February 16, 2006

Yves St. Laurent, eat your heart out.

I'm going to have to start eating only radishes and celery for dinner. Confused? Read on.

It's been a while since I had gotten my hair cut and styled by the amazing Amanda, so I decided to take the morning off and head over to her salon to get that done. They had posted all these flyers around the city asking for people to come and audition to be hair models, but the auditions were a few days ago.

While she was cutting my hair, we were just making small talk, you know, nothing too important. Suddenly, a bomb went off. Here's what happened.

Me: So, how did your model search go?
Her: It went okay. A bunch of sorority type girls showed up. It's not really fun to style their hair because they really honestly care what you do to it.
Me: You mean like they won't give you free rein to do what you want?
Her: Yeah. And no guys showed up either! It kind of sucks since my partner for the show and I wanted to style a guy's hair.
Me: I'll do it.
Her: Are you serious?
Me: Sure, why not?
Her: Well, you'd have to be willing to let us do whatever we want...
Me: I'm all about it.
Her: Cool, just let me confer with my partner, and I'll let you know. Let me take down your phone number.

That's right folks, my life-long aspirations of becoming a model are finally coming to fruition. If I actually get to participate in this hair show, I'll totally be discovered and then I'll be able to quit my job as a lowly graduate student. I'll become vapid and slow-witted; I'll lose all sense of morals and decency, and I'll be an empty shell of a human being who is borderline anorexic. I'll be the greatest male model there ever was, is, and ever will be. Everyone who ever scorned me will realize what a mistake they made when they see my "awesome crib" on MTV, and the only thing more hip than the new "King Bee Hairstyle" will be the King Bee's hipbones.

You'll all count yourselves lucky. You'll be able to tell people, "Man, I read his blog before he got famous," or "I knew him when he went to grad school," or "I dated him once!" You'll be famous by association.

Or, she just might not call back. Either way, it's all good.

yeah, but my girlfriend modeled a home-made corset. top that!
Yeah, but you didn't do anything.
i sewed her bra to the inside of her corset..that's gotta be worth something
Your the second hair model, I know. That means now I'm twice as famous as I was before. That's awesome since I already was a celebrity.

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