Friday, December 30, 2005

Tupac and Rivers were tight, yo. Fo' rizzle.

If you visit this terrible website with any sort of regularity, you'll know that I don't care about much in life, except for probably drugs, sex, and music. Well, probably just one of those three.

I was subjected to something called "Scratch and Sniff" today. No, it's not the lovable stickers of the days of old, it's a name for the mash-up segment on a radio station here in this terrible city.

The radio station dubs itself as the "New Rock Revolution." Hence, rather than play relevant new rock (like Bloc Party, Sleater-Kinney, Death Cab, Broken Social Scene, or Autolux), they'd rather play Metallica's "Sad But True." Wait, how about instead of James Hetfield screaming like a moron, we'll have Kanye West sing his "Gold Digga" song instead? Oh, better yet let's play some idiotic Queens of the Stone Age song (I don't know the name of the one, but it's the most annoying one they have), and let's totally disgrace the memory of Notorious B.I.G. by playing the lyrics for "Hypnotize" over it!

My personal favorite was the mash-up of Tupac Shakur and Weezer. Seriously. Tupac Shakur. Rivers Cuomo. Basically, they're the same guy. Same background, same message in their music.

Whoever sat down and decided that it was probably a good idea to combine "California Love" with "Beverly Hills" is the biggest failure at life in the history of human domination of this planet. I pretty much want to find the guy (or gal) who did this and strangle them to death with "my two hands." (Sorry, that's an Incident at Loch Ness reference. Just see it, stop complaining to me.)

Worse yet, they devote like 2 hours to this atrocity.

When I actually sit down and think about that, it pretty much makes me want to jump into an enclosure full of tigers just so that they can toy with me for a while before they devour me while I'm still breathing. It's either that or I could go to a secluded island where a madman decides to hunt me because he has determined that Man is the most dangerous game.

Both of those options are more attractive than having to ever be aware of the fact that this radio station plays those songs.

there also exists a mix of whole lotta love and drop it like it's hot.

- doug yayo
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