Friday, December 02, 2005

The only property of "dying" is that we are about to be it.

Last night, after proctoring the exam for my class (which totally took like 30 minutes longer than it should have because I'm such a nice teacher), I decided to head over to a friend's place to partake in some more Betrayal.

At the House on the Hill, that is.

It was totally rockin'. My character ended up going insane and thinking he was Julius Caesar, and that all of the other explorers were totally Brutus, Cassius, and the rest of those murderous trolls who stabbed the greatest ruler of all time. It's just as well though, because had that never actually occurred, then Marc Antony wouldn't have been all friendly with Cleo, and she probably wouldn't have killed herself with an asp, and then there wouldn't be an awesome crossword clue that's 3 letters long that will show up in at least 1 of the 3 major crossword puzzles every day. It's amazing how things work, right?

After that, someone totally resurrected Frankenstien's monster, and my character this time (a 9 year old girl by the name of Missy Dubourde) was torn limb from limb. I'm so not even kidding, it was amazing. Then the surviving explorers lured him to the chasm and pushed him off the bridge. It's not a joke when I affirm my desire to play this game professionally. It will happen one day, I swear it.

Anyway, we had to partake in the dodgeball tournament as well, but our game didn't start until 11pm. Since it's about absolute zero outside right now, the car we decided to take was frostier than the snowman who sports that adjective as his moniker. Due to this fact, we were basically driving down a heavily trafficked road in what basically amounted to a coffin, for two reasons.

1. We couldn't see outside the windows, so anything that didn't have headlights (such as a human being) would be instantly killed if said object had crossed our path, and
2. we were probably going to die by causing a 3-car pileup.

So it was a fitting metaphor for the vehicle. We didn't actually die though, so I guess that's kind of cool.

I was a total superstar at the dodgeball matches, catching balls and also knocking opponents out, and basically just being an amazing athlete. We still didn't win though, and that's probably due to the fact that the referees have an inability to let me know whether I'm out or not. It's a little depressing.

I went home and cleaned and dyed my hair and prepared myself for today, where I'm going to have to drink 1000 beers about an hour or so from now. Basically, that just means I hydrated myself like crazy, because the only property of dehydration is that I am it incarnate. It sucks, no lie.

Holy crap, we are united in our geekiness because I, too, know that "asp" is invaluable in any crossword pursuit.

You know it.
The bruiser twins are faggots.
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