Friday, August 26, 2005

This entry is sponsored by the Campus Crusade for Christ.

reach out and touch faith

Ah yes, I love these lazy Friday afternoons.

I'm whiling away the hours at the ol' coffeehouse, wondering what the Someday Bum might be up to. It's quite possible that maybe "someday" has come, and he doesn't have any more money to spend on fine teas and the like. Oh well.

So, last night, whilst whipping everyone and his brother in billiards, I went up to the bar to get a beer. The bar area was kind of crowded, and the only way I could squeeze my way in to get a drink was in between this rather attractive young woman and a rather disgusting older gentleman. I waited for my right moment, so as to not touch either of them (I don't know about you, but nothing is more annoying than sitting at a bar and having patrons squeeze in next to you to get a drink). Well, what I thought was the right moment was the wrong one.

Right as I decided to make my move, the rather attractive young woman (referred to hereafter as the RAYW for the sake of brevity) moved her elbow out towards me to get some cigarettes out of her purse. Naturally, I collided with her. Here is the conversation:

RAYW: Hey!
Me: Sorry about that. Just trying to get a drink is all.
RAYW: Ah, don't worry. You're fine.
Me: Why, thank you.
RAYW: What? That's not what I meant. [in a scoffing tone]
Me: I know. I was just being funny.
RAYW: I didn't think it was funny.
Bartender: Another "Harp," sir?

So here's the question I pose to you, gentle readers: was I out of line? I could have thought of other things to say had I actually wanted to upset the poor little RAYW, but I wasn't in the mood to put one of these vapid, slow-witted women who have nothing going for them except the fact that they look good while performing certain sexual acts in her place. See? I probably could have made fun of her for that. However, there was a rather strong-looking man to her left, so I didn't feel like losing my four front teeth in a battle that I had no hope of winning.

My opinion is that most everyone I meet is not as quick as I.

Moving on, since the summer is now over, we can take inventory on my list of goals outlined here.

1. Lost 1/2 an inch. I need to lose 10 more pounds before I am at the weight I desire.
2. Got nowhere with this one. Well, not nowhere. I have a really sweet 10 second intro into what the remix should be. I'll post some other techno-tunes I've made in the past in the next couple entries, and I'll post this one if I ever get done with it.
3. Again, nowhere.
4. Accomplished, and then some.
5. And how.
6. Not "Lord of the Summer," but I did win the summer pool championship.
7. *cough* No.
8. Nope.
9. Nein.
10. Too expensive.
11. I'm on my way. I'm in the midst of the fifth season, but I would be further along if I didn't start concurrently watching "Angel" as well.

So, as we can see, either I'm terrible at accomplishing the goals I set for myself, or I'm setting the wrong kinds of goals. I'm going to say it's the latter, just because I feel like being optimistic these days.

Since I love the laptop (apple powerbook) upon which I am currently updating my blog so much, I have taken to the task of theming my windowing system in Linux (my desktop OS, stay with me here) to look like OSX. It's coming along quite nicely, but it has become apparent to me that in order to get everything to work properly without crashing nonstop, I am definitely going to have to install the proper drivers for my video card. In Linux, this can be quite a task. Especially when your terminal window decides that, with these new drivers, it no longer feels like displaying any text. I'll post a screenshot if I ever get it to work.

The NFL season is starting up again soon, which means the fantasy football season is starting as well. This, of course, means my sarcastic take on the TMQ (Tuesday Morning Quarterback, the failure of an analyst Greg Easterbrook), called the TMMMLB (Tuesday Mid-Morning Middle Line Backer), will have to return for an encore of his column. I can't wait to get that started again.[/sarcasm]

I have to take a qualifying exam in January. I'm going to start studying within the next two weeks. That's how wicked these things are, people.

For our final random thing of the day, I must note this email I recently received from a professor. For background purposes, all you need to know is that I teach my own class at the university here, and that class happens to be Calculus 2. Here it is:

Please announce this in your 165 and 166 classes:

“How to Pass My Calculus Class (or anybody else’s)”
by Dr. Eric Weber.
Marston Hall 207; Monday, August 29th, 7:30pm.

I’ll be presenting tips and tricks to help students succeed in Calculus 1 and 2.

Well, that's all well and good, you might say to yourself. What an opportunity for these students! I thought the same thing. That is, until I read the last line of the email, which was this rather confusing piece of information:

This event is sponsored by Campus Crusade for Christ.

I'm not exactly sure what Christ has to do with Calculus, but I think we can all agree that if he were here, he would probably kick that class's ass so hardcore that it wouldn't know what hit it. Therefore, he is definitely a qualified tutor for the class. I hope my students go and learn something about doing integrals in the Garden of Gethsemane.

It is unfortunate that most people in the world are not as quick witted as we are. But, KB, this is life, and we must learn to deal with it.

Certainly, your witicism is great. When she tried to tell you that this is not what she meant, you could have tried to convince her that she believes that you are fine, deep down. But you would probably have been wasting your time--it seems that both her neurons were already in use.

-- Dr Num
Haha! True.

I probably would have caught syphillis had it gone any further. I like to think I got lucky this time.
i assume the screenshot of your blank command screen is just below your archives looks great.


p.s. my mouse freezes every two seconds for one little tiny bit of a second. it's pissing me off, and i think my typing is doing the same. i probably have viruses already.
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