Monday, June 06, 2005

Wow, you, like, totally hit it.

I have to post, because I've just seen the worst commercial in the history of mankind. I'll try to properly set the scene for you.

We have two bikini clad women on a beach, in the middle of a volleyball game. Only they aren't women. They're computer generated cel-shaded characters. The ball comes in the direction of one of the two women, and one of them lacklusterly hits it with an underhanded stroke, using one arm, to which her friend exclaims:

"Wow, you, like, totally hit it."

Obviously, there is some confusion going on here. Of course, there is no way that these two women would be caught dead playing volleyball, as per the previous comment after the ball was first struck. In her defense, the returner explains to her friend and the head-scratching audience:

"What? I've got a fruit buzz."

So, naturally, the audience is interested to know what this "fruit buzz" is. What drug could be so wonderful as to make one of our two cel-shaded protagonists care about volleyball?

Apparently, it's what one experiences after eating MacDonald's new calorie packed way to enjoy fruits. Great.

My reaction to this commercial was a little tame at first. I simply thought to myself, "What the fuck?" Then, roughly 3 seconds later, I made audible my disdain for the commercial. After about 4 more seconds, I began to freak out and I struck myself repeatedly on the head with my own hands, trying (in vain, no less) to rid my memory of ever having seen the advertising atrocity.

Please, don't buy these "fruit buzzes," or whatever they might be. You'll make MacDonald's think that these commercials are working, and they'll make more, and I can't afford to smash my face against the television screen...yet.

You are hilarious.
Dude, I know. That's why I rule.
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